Everyday I wake up and think that I need to keep being positive. As you all know, I’ve reading the book The Secret and it says all along the book, all the time, that you need to think good things, be positive, believe in what you want and think you’ve received it, feel good, keep faith, and have a happy attitude towards your life. And by doing all that, the Universe is going to work in your favour, giving everything you wish for.
I am doing this as my mantra to keep focused. I want to try to be a positive person, because most of my life until now, sometimes, I’ve always been negative. I use to believe that Murphy’s Law always worked for me with no failure, always there, and not only with the buttery bread that always falls on the floor with the butter side facing down =PPP I mean, if anything gets wrong, certainly I’ll get the bad effects of it.
I’m trying to encourage my husband to help me on this challenge. If he understood a little bit about the book I’m reading, perhaps he would help me. I even gave him the website so he could have a look, but he bookmarked it and didn’t read a single line of it yet. He says he will, but when? I ask myself… Now I’ll try to find the film they made about the book, so I can rent it and watch. I think there’s a point in your life that you need to believe in something to hold on into your life, when it seems hopeless. We all pass through though things in our lives, some people deal with their issues better than others, I’m a person that takes time to lift up after a big and hurtful fall. Life is not easy and flowery and pink, but I was raised in a environment that made me a protected person, that nothing would happen to me and if something happen, I would always have someone to stand for me and sort out things for me. I’m not saying my life was soft: I was raised by authority parents, specially my father, and old fashion man that has always praised for education as the key of success in life. I worked very hard on my school days, studied a lot, and by that having great scores and always getting straight A notes.
When I got in University, things started to change a bit: I felt a bit out of the group, having the feeling that I didn’t belong in there. I was studying Law, that wasn’t my first choice, because I wanted to go to Business Administration, but I didn’t pass in the exam, so it was my first big failure and one that I’ll never forget. I met determinate people, that were equally clever and I thought that I wasn’t as bright as everyone thought I was. It got me hard, my bubble was popped and I saw the real world for the first time: cruel to the ones that wouldn’t fight hard for what they wanted. I started to think that it wasn’t the course for me, so what the hell I was doing there? Easy to answer: Because I didn’t know what else to do, if not trying to fit in… and my head got upside down, I was 17 when I got to University, so what else you could expect from a lost girl in doubt about everyone, everything and herself? Mental Conflicts! I finished my course, worked hard, got good scores (not the best one of the class, but on the top 10 or 15) and the only certain thing that I knew after 5 years of course was that I didn’t want to be a lawyer, I wanted to study to pass in a public exam, to get a job in the government, where the salaries are good. But these exams are very very hard, only the best ones get them and the conflict between not being the brightest or lack of motivation to study hard and give my blood for it comes again. It has always been my fathers dream, have a successful daughter to be proud of and I think I’m failing on this task big time. The people that have hopes on me keep thinking that I have a change, but if I don’t? What am I going to do? So that’s why I need to keep positive, thinking that I can do it, and believe I’ll get it. For now, I’m expecting to get a job, out of my area, but that would help me a lot, even to boost my confidence a little bit.
I know this battle is going to be hard and painful, specially because I’m alone on that field. So I ask for God’s help to keep me going, because it’s a war that is far away from the end.
XxX